The Legs Akimbo Theatre Company

Had very nice drinkies with Troy last night, and she made me promise to update my blog a bit more regularly. Must do better. I, in exchange, told her to foster a house full of children, and become the modern day Mother Theresa that she is surely destined to be... she said "maybe".

All is well at Cutthroat Cottage, aside from the fact that the radiator in my bedroom (which I temporarily had removed from the wall for decorating) is still disconnected, and my down duvet is the only thing saving me from hypothermia on a nightly basis. Each morning is a mighty challenge, as the first little gust of icy-cold air slips under the duvet, and I face the horrific run from warm bed to freezing bathroom, with the bottom of the bath cold enough almost to take the skin off your feet. Ahhhhh. Must finish redecorating. Must do better.

Otherwise the usual old shenanigans. Went to the docs for the routine poking and prodding that all femmes have to endure. Yet again (they must see my careworn, antipathetic face and say "oh she'll agree") there was a student nurse who wanted to also take a look. I am truly beyond caring, these days, but there was something faintly amusing about the innocent and interested look on the trainee nurse's face, as the gaggle leaned closer, and exchanged a long list of interesting facts about down there. I now know many an interesting anecdote about legs akimbo which I won't list here for the sake of propriety!

Also went to a 70's night in honour of Burnley's 30th birthday. It was at a "proper club" with "proper people" wot probably go "proper clubbing" quite often, and aren't ashamed by the fact that their haircut is assymetric and their air rather aloof. Was quite good fun, apart from me and Shaggy discovering (again) that married men seem to be the most persistant. I'd lost my good humour completely by the end, when I managed to get the guy who'd bought me a drink and flirted for England, to admit that he had wify and two children tucked up at home in Liverpool. Nice. "I'm only flirting" he protested, as if my disapproval was an act of monstrous prudity. I'm sure Mrs Dog-on-heat would agree with you there, mate! Also froze my buttocks off, wandering round a deserted London bridge trying to get home, in not much more than bright orange tunic and leggings. Even had to resort to letting a slightly ropey (straight-off-the-boat) Aussie giving me an extended hug, so as not to succomb to exposure. He clearly thought his luck had come, but luckily so had mine, and my nightbus finally appeared. In a scene not entirely alike "Atonement" I jumped onto said bus, as he shouted "No, don't go yet!!". Tragic it wasn't exactly. But I did feel a tad guilty...

Lone Five Star State

Have been out-of-the-loop awhile thanks to a wee trip to Beijing, no less. Volunteered myself for a bit of international diplomacy, ended up giving a speech and being filmed, and thankfully did not trigger world war three... I must admit, I have some amazing experiences, and am very lucky with my work. Wish I had an opportunity to share these great times with someone, though :-(

I ended up staying in a five star hotel for a couple of days (unintended bonus of being double booked). Brillig. I will almost certainly never stay in such luxury again, unless that rich husband I'm destined to have, appears from the mist, and sweeps me off my feet (hmmmmm).

Beijing makes London look like a fragrant oasis of calm and beauty. Cut through-and-through with multi-lane roads, barely an historic building in sight, and an ever-present acrid smell in the air, it was a little chaotic but never less than interesting. The shopping is cheap but you have to be able to cope with people hawking stuff at every corner, and shouting in your ear constantly. "Hey beautiful lady, you want a bag??? Cheap price, lady, nice bag!!". I could have come home armed with every knock-off and delightful thing I ever dreamed off, but got so exhausted by the shouting, haggling, and pressure, that I returned with next to nothing instead. Got a nice hat, which sadly got a bit mangled on the journey back, and some bright yellow silk, though.

The Forbidden City, however, comes strongly recommended. A day, at least, is needed to wander through the vast grounds and palaces. The Emperor undoubtedly had it good. He practically had a palace (laced in gold) for every mood he found himself in. "Hmmm, I'm feeling a little bit hungry, I think I'll go and lay down in the "Temple of Contemplating How Many Courses I will Have in my Next Meal" and be fed grapes by ten eunuchs wearing hats made out of pearl".

Meant to go to the Great Wall (which is said to take your breath away) but sadly the jet lag did for me, and I slept in too late, on the day I intended to go. Boooo. Still can't complain, was a most interesting trip.... my stomach even survived the frankly VILE food that was on offer. Found a veggie restaurant that served all kinds of fake meat, all of which tasted like deep-fried cardboard, and was served lunch by my hosts, and was too polite not to eat the offal(???), jellied eels(????) and brains(????) that they threw heartily onto my plate. At one point, the director said "Have more, otherwise when you get back to England, you will be too thin, and they will think we haven't fed you enough". Bless. Cue a desperate attempt to stop the gag reflex.

Anyways better go. Work to do and all that!! Might post some photos if I can get my IT geek head on....