Conversing with the Outdoor Drinking Club

SCENE IS SET OUTSIDE SAINSBURY ON STOW HIGH STREET

Drunk: Good evening lady

Me: Er...good evening

Drunk: You from New Zealand? Germany?

Me: Er...no...London

Drunk: You're English! You're well upper class English!

Me: Er right...not really no

Drunk: (in sarcastic tone) YEAH YOU ARE. How's your daddy these days?

Me: (slightly exasperated) He's dead [not true obviously]

Drunk: Oh....bet he left you loads of inheritance though didn't he??

Me: NO

Drunk: (in sudden change of tack, and to snorts of derision from fellow drunk) Do you think I'm attractive?

Me: Er...

Fellow drunk: (half to themselves) When you lose a loved one...yeah when you lose a loved one...my dad's dead too...

Drunk: Because a lot of people say I am very attractive!

Me: Well if people say it, then I suppose it must be true...

Drunk: Yeah, yeah!! I can see that you find me attractive, yeah you're thinking about me and panting ... I can see it!

Me: (to more snorts of derision from fellow drunk) I think you're letting your imagination run away with you there a little

Drunk: (sort of moony eyed) You're a really nice girl. I like your type of girl. Nice and PLAIN.

Me: (rolling eyes) Oh THANK you. That's really something.

FINALLY MANAGE TO UNLOCK MY BIKE